Be Assertive, Not Aggressive

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I have a good friend who also used to work for me as a benefits producer. He says that when he wants to get out of a conversation, he tells the other person, “Have I ever told you I sell insurance?” 😊 As you can imagine, this is quite effective at ending conversations.

We’ve all experienced it to some degree, I’m sure. There is a stereotype of “insurance salespeople,” much of which is not flattering. Those of us who are reasonably self-aware probably unknowingly sabotage our success by working to avoid having the stereotype assigned to us.

Don’t overcorrect

Part of the stereotype is being overly aggressive. I know many advisors who avoid aggressiveness so much that they miss out on opportunities. I agree with not being aggressive, but you can’t let the pendulum swing to the point of passivity.

Instead, focus on the sweet spot in the middle where your approach is respectfully assertive. Being respectfully assertive can only result from confidence in your ability to improve the prospect’s results and your willingness to challenge them to gain this understanding themselves.

Aggression is a way of communicating that's controlling and doesn't consider others' needs. Assertiveness, on the other hand, is a clear, direct, and respectful way of communicating.

The assertive approach

An assertive approach accomplishes many things that are important to sales success:

Builds trust: Prospects and clients need to trust in two things. They must first trust your ability to perform your job at a high level. The second is that you have their best interest in mind.

Establishes credibility: This is especially important in an industry the general public doesn’t trust and when meeting buyers for the first time.

Ensures both the seller and buyer are on the same page: Nothing will derail your sales efforts faster than misaligned objectives.

Shows confidence: Selling is a transfer of confidence. You’re always working to make prospects and clients confident that, by working with you, they will get better results.

Opens lines of effective communication: Dialogues are much more effective in closing deals than a monologue sales pitch that sounds just like your competition.

Objections are more easily addressed: When you create a safe space to voice concerns, you ensure they are handled effectively.

Allows for two-sided compromise: The goal should always be to arrive at an outcome that benefits both sides. This can usually only happen with a bit of give and take from both sides.

Guides the conversation towards solutions rather than avoiding conflict: This allows you to play to win rather than playing to not lose.

The prospect feels heard and understood: Isn’t this what everyone wants?

Creates a relationship foundation built on trust: When you’re respectfully assertive, nothing important ever remains unsaid.

Ultimately, assertive communication leads to stronger relationships, more engaged buyers, and increased sales success, as clients are more likely to trust and engage with someone who demonstrates confidence and clarity.

If an assertive approach makes you uncomfortable, take inventory of the varied problems you can solve and the positive results you bring to your current clients. Finally, revisit your sales process and make any necessary adjustments to provide a logical, step-by-step approach to applying an assertive attitude.

Your future clients will thank you.

Q4i and Goose can help   

We have built an online platform called "Goose: Your Ultimate Wingman" to help you implement these types of growth ideas. In it, you will find the business tools that you need to help foster a more assertive approach: tracking tools, training programs, peer community, access to coaching, and marketing assistance.  

To learn how Goose may help drive your growth, check out our website at Q4intel.com/goose. Or feel free to connect with or contact me directly on LinkedIn.     